"Never Again", Once More.

"Never again" is what I once said before
New day, new time but still it's "never again" once more
I allowed myself to fall with no problem, solely based on who I thought you were, my perception of you which has been replaced by a mirage of only my feelings
I allowed myself to fall because I wanted to...
Wanted to take that chance on something new
Swore I’d change my train of thought because of you
In my mind, I knew that it was something special about you because the conversation
Was more than that of the usual…
But
You knew what I wanted to hear, so you said it.
You knew how I felt but denied me and refused to feel it too
I should have picked it up and caught the signs
Instead
I increased this liking for you instead of
Letting it go
Letting it fade
Letting it die…
Months of going through this
Waiting …
Months to know my answer
Back at square one: and still I say
“Never again”, once more

*Side note: It's a constant battle. Struggling with the same dudes, different faces. Same game, different name. Refuse to do it again.

-Angela Ayam